Confused and venting

I’m feeling really confused about a lot of things right now. In the sense of helping friends really close friends, friends like family. I want to be there to help support them in their recovery but it’s getting to be conflicting when they want to move in with me to help their recovery. I mean I’m all for helping people in their recovery but I’m still working on my own recovery and trying to build a life. I don’t know maybe I’m over thinking on it.

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With you @Niizhaandeg . Recently found myself driving late at night to help someone struggling, spending too long in the ER to make sure loved ones are ok, offering to take kids, pets, move, extending myself so loved ones arent homeless… even 8 years in I forget how important my sacred space and my peace is. That space is MOST important within the confines of my home. I can only speak from experience; I have seen many many women… many! Take friends/family into their homes. It has RARELY been a positive experience. 2 friends I have cant get them to leave and its been detrimental to their mental health. Best thing we can do for the ones we love ( I need to take my own advice here holy shit) is give them the resources to thrive on their own.

Its hard to see people struggle and know we have a quick fix for them but not offer it- but most often its the right thing to do, for ourselves :heart:

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Thank you I needed to hear that. I feel bad still but I know I’m still working on myself everyday. And I’m struggling as well. I mean I’m happy I’m an inspiration to others but I’m not a fixer I can’t be anymore. I’m so great full I got to learn so much at the training

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It’s ok to have boundaries and if you’re not comfortable having them stay with you you have the right to express that. Best thing you can do is like the other person said is help them to help themselves. I am currently in a similar situation and what started out to be a couple of weeks has turned into 3 months with no end in sight. I will never do this again.

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I know I made it clear now. But I’ve worked so hard to be where I’m at and I’m working on getting a house. Do I don’t even have my own spot at the moment. lol but for some reason people are hearing that hes moving in with me. Which isn’t the case. But me of all people know how people talk. I know I just need to continue doing what I’m doing and not let the b.s. get to me.

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Hi :smiling_face:, you need to remember helping another find a path to a better way of life amazing. But I believe that your no good to anyone if at first your not being good to your house. This is where the selfish part comes up, it’s there help not hurt. I feel you are very strong to recognize this. All the best.

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