Holidays are Hard

Hey everyone,

I’m feeling a little anxious heading into the holidays, so I wanted to share and see if anyone else is in the same boat. This time of year can be really tough—between family dynamics, old traditions, and all the pressure to show up a certain way, it feels like a lot. I was also in treatment over Christmas/New Years and it always brings up a weird nostalgia… one of almost like… safety? Longing for that protection I had in treatment from the chaos of the holidays? I dont know.

The Thanksgiving before I entered treatment I convinced my family I had the flu, hid in the basement, stole my grandpas wine and ultimately resorted to mouthwash to really send it home. The next Thanksgiving we lost my Grandpa, in that same home, peacefully surrounded by everyone as he laid in his favorite chair. Its a weird feeling to go back to that house year after year for Thanksgiving.

I know I’m not alone in this, so I wanted to reach out. What helps you get through? Whether it’s boundaries, self-care, support from others—anything you’ve found helpful, I’d love to hear it.

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Yo- here to say I get going back to what was once a dark place year after year. I dont know if it gets easier- but I hope so. Been in and out of treatment for about 10 years and damn I get the “nostalgia” and ya youre right I think longing for that safety.

Dont really have advice- just click with what youre saying.

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Thank you for being so open and vulnerable about how the holidays feel for you. I really resonate with that mix of nostalgia, longing, and the heaviness of holiday memories. It’s such a complex time, especially when it brings up old wounds or bittersweet moments with loved ones we’ve lost.

I’ve found that being intentional with boundaries and rituals that ground me has made a big difference. One thing that helps is carving out a moment just for myself— usually I go out into the barn and scream, really loud. Sounds crazy but damn it works. Helps my partner is in recovery as well- in the early years he would recognize when my eyes got big and my smile got maniacal and distract me or make a joke about the situation.

You’re not alone in feeling this way. It’s okay to long for that safety—it just means you’re human. Sending you warmth and strength as we head into the holidays. :heart:

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Boy oh boy do I feel this. Ive been in recovery for many many years, but my kids, and their kids still struggle and that makes the holidays real tough. I carry a lot of guilt and shame for what ive handed down to them, but all I can do is keep showing up clean and sober and be there when they need me

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I’m going to get this tattoo’d on my forhead.

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Well! We made it through Thanksgiving and Black Friday and Cyber Monday!! Woot Woot! Still here!

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Yea we did! 2 more to go- I always dread New Years eve.

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All you need is support from others and mostly family bonding

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Ooof… My sponsor has already had me create a plan… what I am doing, who am I doing it with and what is the purpose. I think I have had enough time under my belt to make it through the new year, but I am for sure open and willing to do the work and if someone with a lot of recovery under their belt is making that suggestion I don’t see it as a harmful process. :tada: :partying_face:

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Something to do on New Years Day!
FREE event!

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We made it through Thanksgiving, Christmas, and other holidays… now on to the New Year!

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My sponsor says NYE is the most often day people go back out…

For me I feel like if I was going to drink it would be on a night I had to be with people… A time to bring anxiety down.
At home its just another night. At my age, I’ll be in bed by 8 pm anyway :laughing:

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NYE is the WORST holiday in my opinion. I dont like celebrating it either and I used to feel like shit about it. It was hard to find something to enjoy on NYE because it was always associated with drugs and now Its hard to find a way to celebrate without it. So I dont. I go to bed.

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NYE is the worst.

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This is real

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I was in treatment once during the holidays, so I get what you mean. This year has been a little rough on me because I lost my employment for awhile and wasn’t able to go all out like I have the past few years. It reminded me of when I wanted to go all out but didn’t because I had to support my habit. Very anxiety-ridden Christmas this year. Very glad it is over and hoping I will be better able to deal with it next time. If there is a next time. Hopefully I’ll be able to get things back up by next year.

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Its almost over!

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Thats a tough loss before the holidays @ddenhof. But you made it! And you will again :heart:

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Just came here to say we DID IT! Another holiday season sober. Now to enter what feels like the LONGEST month of the year. Damn January.

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