Ugh! holidays!

This will be my first holiday season since getting sober (I’m a little under six months in), and I’m feeling really nervous about going home. My family can be pretty heavy drinkers, and I’m worried about how to handle the pressure, the questions, and just being around so much alcohol.

I want to protect my sobriety, but I’m not sure how to set boundaries or navigate situations without feeling awkward or overwhelmed. Does anyone have advice or tips on how to get through this?

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First of all, congratulations on almost six months of recovery! That’s an incredible achievement, and it’s clear how much thought and care you’re putting into protecting it during the holidays. It’s absolutely valid to feel nervous—family dynamics, alcohol, and the holidays can be a tough combination. Here are some things that have helped me during this season:

  1. Have a Plan Ahead of Time

• Set boundaries: Decide in advance what you’re comfortable with. If you need to leave early, avoid certain conversations, or skip specific events, that’s okay. Protecting your sobriety is the priority.

• Bring a sober buddy: If you have a supportive friend or family member who knows about your journey, ask them to stick close and offer moral support.

• Prepare responses: Practice a simple, neutral reply to questions about not drinking, like, “I’m focusing on my health,” or “I just feel better without it.”

  1. Create a Support System

• Stay connected: Let someone in your support circle (sponsor, friend, peer, or therapist) know where you’ll be and check in with them before, during, or after the gathering.

• Have an escape plan: Drive yourself or have transportation arranged so you can leave if things get overwhelming.

  1. Bring Your Own Comforts

• Non-alcoholic drinks: Bring sparkling water, mocktails, or your favorite soda so you always have something in hand. It helps avoid questions and gives you a sense of control.

• Self-soothing items: Whether it’s headphones for a quick music break, a book, or even stepping outside for fresh air, bring tools that can help you reset if needed.

  1. Practice Self-Compassion

• It’s okay to feel awkward or overwhelmed—it’s all part of the process. Celebrate your effort and progress, even if the day isn’t perfect.

  1. Consider Alternative Plans

• If the environment feels too risky, you can start a new tradition, like spending time with sober friends or volunteering. You can still connect with family in other ways that feel safer.

Remember, you’re allowed to protect your peace and sobriety. It’s not selfish; it’s essential. Take it one moment at a time, and know you’re not alone in this. :heart:

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Hey —huge congrats on almost six months! That’s amazing, and you should be so proud.

I totally get being nervous about going home, especially with drinking being such a big part of the picture, it still is with my family. I like to bring my own drinks (sparkling water or a fun mocktail) so I’m not stuck with “why aren’t you drinking?” questions. And it’s totally okay to have an excuse ready, like “I’m taking a break” or “I just feel better without it.” or my favorite “Im an alcoholic aunt Janice and im trying to be better!!” is also a valid response. Make is so awkward they dont respond.

Also, don’t be afraid to set boundaries or dip out early if you need to. It’s your recovery, and you’ve worked hard for it. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for putting yourself first. :heart:

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Thanks for the feedback. I made it through one holiday, but think I’m going to pass on the next round. It’s not worth my sanity.

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Im with you JoanieRose. I would like to pass on all the rounds. I think the Kranks got it right

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@Gatsby
Did you make it?

I bet you did!

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