My Medicine Bag

@Cashavelli187 wrote this about a year ago and I wanted to share it.

Not long ago, I was lost in addiction with no way out.

During these dark moments, I was spiraling down the rabbit hole of self-destruction. Ever since I was a child, my life has never been pretty. I was spiritually bankrupt, and my instinct was always to get more drugs, danger, and self-destruction. I have always been the type of person to follow the crowd or do what everyone else is doing, even if that behavior is self-destructive. No matter the destructive pattern, if everyone was doing it, so was I. When I decided to get my life together and move out of the abyss of chaos, a huge gift came to me; it was my medicine bag.

In the Ojibwe culture, tobacco is very sacred, and we use it to pray as an offering to the Creator for hearing our prayers.

When I first started wearing the medicine bag, I was insecure about it and tried to ignore the fact that it was tied to my waist. Some wear their medicine bags as fashion, but I soon realized I wore it for survival. So anyway, I started to wear this medicine bag every day. I would tie it to the side of my pants, which quickly became part of my morning routine, along with my wallet and coins. I would transfer the items from one pair of pants to another, including my medicine bag. Soon this routine became a part of me and by far the most valuable.
One of the things that keeps me walking the red road in those hard times is the gift of praying. When I am struggling with work, I pray. When I am struggling with resentment towards someone, I pray. At the beginning of my recovery journey, I was lost and broken and unsure if I could continue, so I prayed.
Forming a relationship with my medicine bag has helped me significantly over the past year. I carry tobacco in my medicine bag everywhere I go; it’s a constant reminder to think spiritually. When I pray, I ask for strength and guidance to get through the day clean and sober.

Soon I realized that I started missing days praying. I didn’t miss many days, but when I would seek guidance from my mentor about the days I missed, he gave me this advice, he told me I got to establish a relationship with my tobacco and that I should wear a medicine bag with me all the time; so that is what I did.

At first, it only felt like I was going through the motions of prayer. However, I was told to keep doing it, and something would happen. So I kept praying, and I stayed in recovery. For anyone with substance use disorder and in recovery, every day sober is hard-earned in the beginning. I didn’t give up; I kept wearing my medicine bag, praying for over a month.

Eventually, something started to change, and I started to change.

I started to believe that when I put tobacco down to pray that it was actually helping me remain in recovery and stay sober. Eventually, I moved and got a job, becoming busier than I thought I would. I continued to pray. Now I take my son outside with me and pray out loud so he can hear everything I pray for. I don’t pray for material things but for strength and guidance to do what is right and live the way the Creator wants me to. My morals and values were so skewed from my life today. Not that I am much better today, but I am a different person today because of prayer.
Prayer and my medicine bag remind me I must think bigger than my current situation or what I am struggling with. I must remember how the creator wants me to live, and I follow the signs and guidance that he places in front of me. Anytime I take something from mother earth, I have to put tobacco and give thanks for the gift she is allowing me to use. Whether it’s firewood for the Sweatlodge ceremony or medicines for tea, it always starts with putting my tobacco down before I take anything. Be it a constant reminder to be grateful for the life the creator has given me today.

Today I am forever grateful for my life and everything the creator has been doing in my life. There is no way I would be in the position I am in today without always praying first.
My medicine bag is always at my side and constantly reminds me to pray. Constantly reminding me where I stand with things. Constantly telling me to pray and to live the way that he would have me live.

When the road gets tough, I pull my medicine bag off my hip, walk to a tree, put a pinch of tobacco down, and ask for strength and guidance to live the way he would want me to.

I have to do this daily to keep growing and pushing forward to be the person he wants me to be. My life under my own guidance was a sad story but my life with the creator’s guidance has been beyond my wildest dreams, and it’s humbling to know that this power has transformed my life, and I wish to help others to find this gift. Along my recovery journey, the biggest instrument to keeping me centered and on the right path has been my medicine bag.

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Powerful! Thanks for sharing

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