I know I have a problem, I just struggle to maintain the motivation required to deal with it effectively. A few months ago I told everyone in my life I’m gonna quit, and I reduced my use for a while and then ended up back with liquor. Last night I had one of those nights where I wake up in the morning and I’m like ok yes these were all good ideas or whatever but now I get to feel the anxiety I would’ve felt had I written those emails sober. It’s nothing relationship ending or anything, I tend to get really deep into psychology research (my specific area of interest is psychedelic assisted therapies) and then be like I have a great idea for how this could all be wrapped up together to create an awesome paper. And it’s never a bad idea to propose it to colleagues but something about waking up the next morning and being like damn I really sent that at 1am??
Idk what I’m getting at, I know it’s bad for me, I know it affects my quality of life when I’m not drinking, I know it worries my partner who wants to have a long life with me. I know from the research I won’t have a long life if I keep this up. I feel like I’m completely aware of all the reasons I should quit and yet when it gets down to actually doing it it only takes a week or two before I’m like fuck it I don’t care anymore.
Any perspective on maintain your motivation through the difficult points would be helpful and in case it’s relevant I’m autistic + ADHD.
I just want to say that I know how tough this is, and I truly empathize with what you’re going through. I’ve had similar experiences—knowing logically how harmful something is for my health, yet still finding myself returning to it day after day. It’s such a challenging cycle, and I want you to know you’re not alone.
For me, a turning point was reaching out and asking for help. Sometimes it came from feeling so low that I had no other choice, but those moments led me to connect with people I trusted, people who could hold me accountable and support me in seeking help.
I’ve also heard from others about the potential benefits of different approaches, including psychedelics. That’s not the path I’ve personally taken, but I can absolutely understand how it might offer insight or healing for some.
When it comes to motivation, I’ve found that it often has to come from within—something deeply personal that resonates with you. Have you explored therapy or other forms of support? For me, therapy has been incredibly helpful once I was sober—it’s allowed me to work through some of the underlying pain and triggers that led me to drink or use in the first place.
I know it might not feel like much, but my best thought is to keep trying. If one approach doesn’t work, try something you haven’t tried yet. It can feel exhausting, but I truly believe that if you keep searching, you’ll find something that sticks. You’re worth the effort, and I believe in you.
Soooo I am also in recovery from alcoholism, celebrated 8 years last March, and the one thing that has changed my life is Ketamine treatment for treatment resistant depression. Its crazy. Im learning a lot about it and how effective is is in recovery from alcohol as well. Ive been doing it for almost 2 years now and its so fucked insurance decided they are no longer going to cover it across the state. I also have ADHD and I dont know how much it correlates to the Ketamine but I all around feel like I can just manage myself and my life better.
I relate. Going back to look at my college emails would be as embarassing as when FB pops up with statuses I made in 2009.
We cant logic our way out of a disease, unfortunately. For years we can know all the consequences and have zero motivation to change. Until something happens and it sticks. We just keep trying until it sticks. Find what gets you excited, hyperfocused and motivated and maybe try and see how alcohol can get in the way of it? I am also the ADHD that dives in hard and then flops within a few weeks because I lose all interest and motivation. Keep going Something will stick.
Wow, congratulations on 8 years of recovery from alcoholism! That’s truly inspiring. It’s great to hear that Ketamine treatment has been a game-changer for you in managing treatment-resistant depression. The effectiveness of Ketamine in treating depression, especially in cases where other treatments haven’t worked, is well-documented.
It’s also interesting that you mention having ADHD and feeling more manageable with Ketamine treatment. While there isn’t extensive research on the correlation between Ketamine and ADHD, some studies suggest that Ketamine may have potential benefits for individuals with ADHD, particularly in improving focus and attention.
Your advice on finding what gets you excited and motivated is spot on. It’s essential to identify the things that drive you and make you feel fulfilled, and then use those as motivation to stay on track. And don’t worry about being an ADHD individual who dives in hard and then loses interest – it’s all about finding what works for you and sticking to it.
Keep going, and remember that recovery is a journey. It’s okay to take things one step at a time, and don’t be too hard on yourself when you encounter setbacks. You got this!
Something will stick.
champ